[Java] Allow a user to provide an alternative "chunk" allocator

Right now, the Arrow Java libraries have two options:
- Have accounted memory using the Netty allocator.
- Have unaccounted memory using your own allocator.

I'd like to add a third option where you can use the existing accounting but decide where the chunks of memory come from.

**Reporter**: [Jacques Nadeau](https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/ARROW-7198) / @jacques-n

_{**Note**: *This issue was originally created as [ARROW-7198](https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/ARROW-7198). Please see the [migration documentation](https://github.com/apache/arrow/issues/14542) for further details.*}

未指定文件、测试或入口点。首先在 Arrow Java 库中定位现有的基于 Netty 和用户提供的 allocator 路径，然后确定可配置的 chunk 源如何保留内存记账；当第三种分配选项能够正常工作且不会丢失记账时，即表示完成。

由索引模型根据 Issue 内容生成。