[Java] Find a proper way to test VM options (share system property between Main/Test code)

### Describe the enhancement requested

Java Test code and Java Main code cannot share system property variables.

The current workaround is to use reflection on unit testing code to override main code system properties.

We need a complete solution that covers JDK17+ Java versions without reflection access to test for example `System.getProperty(DEBUG_ALLOCATOR)` at https://github.com/apache/arrow/blob/main/java/memory/memory-core/src/main/java/org/apache/arrow/memory/BaseAllocator.java#L52

### Component(s)

Java

从 java/memory/memory-core/src/main/java/org/apache/arrow/memory/BaseAllocator.java 开始，尤其调查对 DEBUG_ALLOCATOR system property 的访问。调查 Java Main 和测试代码当前如何在 JDK 17+ 上接收 system properties，以及为什么需要 reflection workaround。完成的标准是提供一个完整的非 reflection 解决方案，使测试能够执行相关的 VM options。

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