[Java] Request for enhancements to BufferAllocator.close()

We are using Arrow in a production environment and running into some issues with memory allocation. Specifically, we would like to be able to call `BufferAllocator.close()` and have that clean up the allocated memory even if there are existing data objects using it, rather than the method throwing an exception upon seeing that the allocator is still in use. Are there any plans to add support for releasing memory on demand? 

**Reporter**: [Talia Trilling](https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/ARROW-14328)

_{**Note**: *This issue was originally created as [ARROW-14328](https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/ARROW-14328). Please see the [migration documentation](https://github.com/apache/arrow/issues/14542) for further details.*}

BufferAllocator.close() API から始め、データオブジェクトがまだ allocator を使用している場合に、割り当て済みメモリをどのように処理するかを追跡します。実装箇所とテスト箇所を特定する前に、想定される所有権とライフサイクルの動作を明確にします。完了とは、合意した close 動作が実装され、未解放のオブジェクトについて検証されていることです。

索引モデルが issue の本文から書いたものです。