[Java] Request for enhancements to BufferAllocator.close()

We are using Arrow in a production environment and running into some issues with memory allocation. Specifically, we would like to be able to call `BufferAllocator.close()` and have that clean up the allocated memory even if there are existing data objects using it, rather than the method throwing an exception upon seeing that the allocator is still in use. Are there any plans to add support for releasing memory on demand? 

**Reporter**: [Talia Trilling](https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/ARROW-14328)

_{**Note**: *This issue was originally created as [ARROW-14328](https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/ARROW-14328). Please see the [migration documentation](https://github.com/apache/arrow/issues/14542) for further details.*}

从 BufferAllocator.close() API 开始，跟踪当数据对象仍在使用 allocator 时它如何处理已分配的内存。在确定实现和测试位置之前，明确预期的所有权和生命周期行为；当约定的 close 行为已针对仍在使用的对象实现并完成验证时，即视为完成。

由索引模型根据 Issue 内容生成。