Py_(X)SETREF should have atomic versions on free-threaded builds

Feature or enhancement

Proposal:

Right now, Py_SETREF is implemented in non-atomic terms, which makes it subject to operation reordering issues on weakly ordered architectures (which caused a problem fixing gh-149816, where even switching from separate Py_CLEAR and later assignment to set_sni_cb to a single "atomic" Py_SETREF didn't fix the issue on ARM, because SSL's callback was being invoked asynchronously).

Py_SETREF is naturally implemented in terms of an atomic exchange, and at least for the free-threaded builds, it seems like it should be implemented as such to avoid such raciness, supplementing the existing:

#ifdef _Py_TYPEOF
#define Py_SETREF(dst, src) \
    do { \
        _Py_TYPEOF(dst)* _tmp_dst_ptr = &(dst); \
        _Py_TYPEOF(dst) _tmp_old_dst = (*_tmp_dst_ptr); \
        *_tmp_dst_ptr = (src); \
        Py_DECREF(_tmp_old_dst); \
    } while (0)
#else
#define Py_SETREF(dst, src) \
    do { \
        PyObject **_tmp_dst_ptr = _Py_CAST(PyObject**, &(dst)); \
        PyObject *_tmp_old_dst = (*_tmp_dst_ptr); \
        PyObject *_tmp_src = _PyObject_CAST(src); \
        memcpy(_tmp_dst_ptr, &_tmp_src, sizeof(PyObject*)); \
        Py_DECREF(_tmp_old_dst); \
    } while (0)
#endif

// Similarly long nonsense for Py_XSETREF

with a new atomic-based approach for free-threaded builds:

#define Py_SETREF(dst, src) Py_DECREF(_Py_atomic_exchange_ptr(&(dst), (src)))
#define Py_XSETREF(dst, src) Py_XDECREF(_Py_atomic_exchange_ptr(&(dst), (src)))

Please poke holes in this approach. I have a lot of experience with writing multithreaded C code, but will never be convinced I've covered every race condition no matter how simple the code.

Has this already been discussed elsewhere?

No response given

Links to previous discussion of this feature:

No response

找出 Py_SETREF 和 Py_XSETREF 的 CPython C API 定義，接著檢查 free-threaded 建置如何選擇它們的實作。根據此處所述的所有權與記憶體排序疑慮，評估所提議的原子交換；完成的標準是達成經過審查的決策，並透過適當的驗證來實作或拒絕此方法。