FLUX dreambooth train on multigpu with deepspeed

### Describe the bug

i'm using the train_dreambooth_flux.py to finetune flux. i get oom on 4x A100 80gb with deepspeed stage 2, gradient checkpoint, bf16 mixed precision, 1024px *1024px input, adafactor optimizer,batchsize 1. it can only run with deepspeed stage3, but that is too slow about 16sec/it.

### Reproduction

just use train_dreambooth_flux.py in repo

### Logs

_No response_

### System Info

- 🤗 Diffusers version: 0.31.0.dev0
- Platform: Linux-5.15.0-105-generic-x86_64-with-glibc2.31
- Running on Google Colab?: No
- Python version: 3.10.0
- PyTorch version (GPU?): 2.3.0+cu118 (True)
- Flax version (CPU?/GPU?/TPU?): not installed (NA)
- Jax version: not installed
- JaxLib version: not installed
- Huggingface_hub version: 0.23.4
- Transformers version: 4.44.2
- Accelerate version: 0.33.0
- PEFT version: 0.10.0
- Bitsandbytes version: 0.44.0.dev
- Safetensors version: 0.4.2
- xFormers version: 0.0.26.post1+cu118
- Accelerator: NVIDIA A800 80GB PCIe, 81920 MiB
NVIDIA A800 80GB PCIe, 81920 MiB
NVIDIA A800 80GB PCIe, 81920 MiB
NVIDIA A800 80GB PCIe, 81920 MiB
- Using GPU in script?: yes
- Using distributed or parallel set-up in script?: yes

### Who can help?

@linoytsaban

Start with train_dreambooth_flux.py and reproduce the reported 4x A800 configuration: 1024px inputs, batch size 1, bf16, gradient checkpointing, Adafactor, and DeepSpeed stage 2. Compare the failure with stage 3 and use the reported environment versions as context; done means stage 2 no longer runs out of memory without the severe slowdown described.

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