MySQL insert is broken on non-auto incrementing primary keys

MySQL can't do RETURNING (tho Maria DB can), which means that our insert needs to pair it with a SELECT LAST_INSERT_ID().

Of course, LAST_INSERT_ID() only works with auto incrementing primary keys. It fails utterly with (as an example) the UUID type.

The general recommended fix is to write something like:

CREATE TABLE foo (
  id  VARCHAR(80) DEFAULT (UUID()) PRIMARY KEY,
  name VARCUAR (80) NOT NULL
);

INSERT INTO foo (id, name) VALUES (@last_foo_id = UUID(), ?);
SELECT @last_foo_id;

which is, y'know, horrible.

The issue names no files or tests. Start by locating the MySQL insert implementation and its LAST_INSERT_ID handling, then reproduce the failure with a UUID or other non-auto-incrementing primary key. Done means inserts work for such keys without breaking auto-increment behavior, with regression coverage for both cases.