Make a function that throws validation errors based on a check pattern

Mostly for transition purposes for people who are familiar with check.

Hard requirement - it still needs to throw `ValidationError` errors, but I think this is achievable by using simple-schema under the hood.

No files, tests, or entry points are named. Start by reading the existing validated-method API and how ValidationError is currently produced, then examine the requested check-pattern compatibility and simple-schema transition. Done means a defined function can accept the intended check pattern while still throwing ValidationError errors.

Written by the indexing model from the issue text.