LDR: setup and upgrade guardrails

We should provide the correct errors and prevent replication from starting when a user tries to:
- replicate mismatched table names.
- a user tries to replicate a system table
- upgrade a cluster during an initial scan
- run sql on the cluster during the initial scan (maybe this will be irrelevant because it'll be online)
- start replication on column family setups or other table configurations that we don't support. when I did this during acceptance testing it just forced everything to go to the DLQ and that was not great. could we just error this out instead?

Jira issue: CRDB-41356

Epic CRDB-51519