Overlay module improvements

Desired improvements around Overlays.

This Epic is a kind of scratch pad of ideas.

When one becomes pertinent:
1. create a story (attached to this epic) based on a to-do (from the "Ideas" section).
- take a hard look at the "notes from the plane" gist, there's likely some good hints in there.
- chat with @cppforlife for additional context
2. delete that "to-do" from this list.

### Ideas
_Specific improvements to consider._

- [ ] #371
- [ ] `@overlay/append` should not require a corresponding `@overlay/match`
- [#carvel](https://kubernetes.slack.com/archives/CH8KCCKA5/p1656527918994159?thread_ts=1656526252.430089&cid=CH8KCCKA5) shows an example
- [ ] match child defaults needs to better merge if node specific rules
- node specific rules should take precedence
- this ends up to be if any missing_ok/expects/when is specified on node, we should throw away defaults for that node
- [ ] rename `expects` to `expect` kwarg?
- [ ] docs: add table to docs describing overlay actions behaviors
- [x] vmware-tanzu/carvel#112 — how to add overlay annotation on a first map item within an array item
- [x] #116
- improved: https://github.com/cloudfoundry/cf-for-k8s/blob/6c9f5cd30acbfe0644bc323da73444b9c41e4617/config-optional/remove-resource-requirements.yml -> https://gist.github.com/cppforlife/7a5f061a184e09a33f2cab2ee433795c

notes from the plane: https://gist.github.com/cppforlife/f5eddb3f7dd73239144fb0c148d8f9f2

### Previously Completed

_Kept for historical purposes: improvements that were made before this issue was converted to an Epic._

- [x] change default array match matcher to not_op(all) which would result in appending?