[VL] Task killed by Yarn

### Backend

VL (Velox)

### Bug description

one common issue of Gluten is that the task is killed by yarn. Currently Gluten has some memory allocation like std::vector isn't tracked by spark's memory management. It's counted into executor.overhead memory now. But there should be some such allocation with large data size. We should create a proxy allocator for such memory allocation.

### Spark version

None

### Spark configurations

_No response_

### System information

_No response_

### Relevant logs

_No response_