[Bug]Service reference fails when using providedBy after listener destruction

### Apache Dubbo Component

Java SDK (apache/dubbo)

### Dubbo Version

3.1.11

### Steps to reproduce this issue

1. Define a service reference with a specific provider:

```java
@DubboReference(providedBy = "app1")
private APIService apiService;
```

2. Zookeeper has data:
`get /dubbo/mapping/com.example.APIService value:app1,app2`

3. The app1 listener gets destroyed.

4. Try to use another service from app1:

```java
@DubboReference(providedBy = "app1")
private API2Service api2Service;
```

Result: No provider found.

### What you expected to happen

The service reference should succeed.

### Anything else

1. Why is the mapping being looked up when the provider is already specified?

2. In the code that handles service instance changes:

```java
if (!oldListener.hasListeners()) {
oldListener.destroy(); // 🪵
removeAppSubscriptionLock(appKey);
}
```

Is it necessary to remove the oldListener from the serviceListeners Map after it has called destroy?

3. Would it be correct to add a line to remove old listeners from serviceListeners, like this:

```java
if (!oldListener.hasListeners()) {
oldListener.destroy();
// Remove old listeners from serviceListeners
serviceListeners.remove(appKey);
removeAppSubscriptionLock(appKey);
}
```

### Are you willing to submit a pull request to fix on your own?

No

### Code of Conduct

- [x] I agree to follow this project's Code of Conduct

---

This consolidated version includes all the key points from your original issue, including the code snippets and your questions about the listener removal process.

Start at the service-instance change handler containing oldListener.destroy(), serviceListeners, and removeAppSubscriptionLock; trace how providedBy references resolve mappings after an app listener is destroyed. Reproduce the two @DubboReference cases and verify that the reference succeeds after listener destruction while listener cleanup remains correct.

Written by the indexing model from the issue text.