Spill error (oom) with sort merge join

### Describe the bug

I run some data(300g) in small mem(64g) with sort merge join spill.
Then i get error
`Failed to allocate additional {} for {} with {} already allocated for this reservation - {} remain available for the total pool`

And i try to fix it. I fix two code
remove this code:
https://github.com/apache/datafusion/blob/c89cb70781dd3e8c52f7cbfff51c2b850900a132/datafusion/physical-plan/src/sorts/stream.rs#L176

and

https://github.com/apache/datafusion/blob/c89cb70781dd3e8c52f7cbfff51c2b850900a132/datafusion/physical-plan/src/sorts/sort.rs#L785

to

> loop {
> match self.reservation.try_grow(size) {
> Ok(_) => Ok(()),
> Err(e) => {
> if self.in_mem_batches.is_empty() {
> return Err(Self::err_with_oom_context(e));
> }
>
> // Spill and try again.
> self.sort_and_spill_in_mem_batches().await?;
> }
> }

I think the issues are as follows:
1. The memory was immediately occupied as soon as the sort operator spilled data to disk.
2. The row operator failed to spill data to disk, which caused this problem.
So could we fix it in this way, or are there any better solutions?

### To Reproduce

_No response_

### Expected behavior

_No response_

### Additional context

_No response_

Start by reading the linked sections of datafusion/physical-plan/src/sorts/stream.rs and datafusion/physical-plan/src/sorts/sort.rs, focusing on reservation growth and spill handling. Reproduce the sort-merge join with the reported 300g workload and 64g of memory, then confirm that spilling completes without the reported reservation OOM.

Written by the indexing model from the issue text.