Allow custom allocator to be injected in more places

When developing https://github.com/paleolimbot/duckdb-nanoarrow it was apparent that we need the ability to inject an `ArrowBufferAllocator` into the `ArrowIpcArrayStreamReader` for clients that need tight control over memory usage.

There is also at least one place in the device API where we assume a buffer allocator:

- https://github.com/apache/arrow-nanoarrow/blob/e54b7df525fa1d310a96687bd99902823402b26c/src/nanoarrow/nanoarrow_device.h#L220-L223

In those two examples specifically a lack of custom allocator isn't blocking any real-world case (in DuckDB we can also do a better job coordinating IO if we skip the `ArrowIpcArrayStreamReader` entirely and go through the lower-level `ArrowIpcDecoder`; in cudf they have their own code for copying arrays and don't use the device API); however, the option should still be there.

Start by inspecting ArrowIpcArrayStreamReader and the allocator assumptions at nanoarrow_device.h lines 220-223, then compare their use with the lower-level ArrowIpcDecoder. Done means clients can provide an ArrowBufferAllocator in both identified areas without relying on an implicit allocator.

Written by the indexing model from the issue text.