[Gandiva][Java] Safeguard jvm before loading the gandiva library

Today we load the gandiva library always when trying to use the jni bridge, but we have run into issues causing the jvm to crash in untested paths.

Proposal is to do load the library in a separate process first and if it works only then load in the current process.

This would be done only once at startup/first load.

**Reporter**: [Praveen Kumar](https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/ARROW-4003) / @praveenbingo

_{**Note**: *This issue was originally created as [ARROW-4003](https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/ARROW-4003). Please see the [migration documentation](https://github.com/apache/arrow/issues/14542) for further details.*}

Start by tracing the Java JNI bridge's first library-load path and how startup or first-load initialization currently works. Implement the proposed separate-process load check, then load in the current process only after it succeeds and ensure the check runs once; verify the JVM remains safe on failing or unsupported paths.

Written by the indexing model from the issue text.